Self Regulation

Self regulation is how one manages oneself. This includes emotion and impulse.
Self Regulation is a key that would benefit us to check into regularly.

A powerful statement I recently heard was, “power lies in personal containment and fluid adaptability.”

This means we must have self regulation to truly be in our truth. We can either be a victim or be self righteous. What is there’s more than that? What is there were a space in the middle?
To be a victim is to collapse into oneself, to make oneself small. To be self righteous is to take a strong posture. It’s the attitude of superiority. It can look like the person who says, “everything is fine”. These are both extremes that leave no room for true containment, for real inner strength.

In between the two rests humility and dignity. Humility says, “I have something to learn.” Dignity says, “I have a voice”. Within this, one must lead with the right amount of vulnerability.

“Power lies in personal containment and fluid adaptability.”

We must listen to the environment and individual in front of us. We must be aware of what the container can really hold. This container includes the one in front of us, and our own. We must notice when we are collapsing and when we are self righteous. We benefit when we are observant of our own extremes. When we notice, we can name that which is arising. We contain what needs to be contained and release only what is beneficial for that moment that will at the same time received. We notice the container of the one in front of us and we respect that. We don’t need to overfill.

We remember that, “Power lies in personal containment and fluid adaptability.”

How do you contain yourself? For the sake of what?
Are there any action steps you can take today that will help you rest in the center- within dignity and humility?

Thank you to my friend, Aya for the enriching conversation that inspired me to share this post.

Life Purpose

What a HOT topic! One may ask the question, what is my life purpose and how am I going to fulfill that?

Maybe your life’s purpose isn’t about what you are going to do to change the world.

Rather, ask yourself, what am I going to learn this time? What is it I need to learn this time? 

That’s why you are in a world of time – to learn and to pass knowledge. 

Bless others and they too, shall bless you. Look not to bring peace for all. Seek to bring peace to self.

Then, relinquish all seeking. Everyone we encounter will feel it and pass it on.

Then peace will be amongst all because it is amongst us. Happiness and love work the same way. 

Feel it deeply truly within yourself and notice what happens.

This often brings up the idea of identity. Identity is formed through experience, memory, and values. Let’s assume that all beings want to lead fulfilling and positive lives to cultivate the best they can during their time on earth. When struggling to figure out who we are, we can thank positive psychology. By focusing on our inherent strengths, we are able to thrive. So let’s begin with asking the following questions:

  1. What are my innate strengths , such as  talents and skills?
  2. What is my superpower?

When one can appreciate thyself as a unique, ever-growing, competent, and compassionate human being, one can open the door to one’s truest self and from there, the purpose becomes clear.

Each person has a unique character profile based on their strengths. With 15-20 minutes to spare, you can take this free and fun character test and discover more of your inherent strengths. From there, you can make the choice of what you would allow to expand. Afterall, the wolf that we feed more, howls more.

Thank you Kelly Bearer, MA, ACHT for sharing your great knowledge of Positive Psychology and Dr. Debmalya Nandy for your insightful comments and editing of this post.